Gods must be crazy

4

I am a person of faith.

I believe, I pray, I marvel, I rejoice.

I look and I know that God has a hand behind this, I appreciate it and I give thanks. But, every once in a while, it wavers, things seem irreparable glass shattered and problems loom all around swallowing your dreams to spit out your bones, after picking their teeth. In those moments, I lash out at Gods, at his people, at the farce that is faith and choose to believe in the pointlessness of existence. It is in one such moment, possibly of weakness, or just my own version of revenge, that I wrote this:

Joffrey

 

 

 

 

because in my head Jesus looks like Christian Bale

 

Gods control, they don’t care. Picture God as the opposite of a nice mom (not those postpartum depression kinds that murder their kids) and you’ll know. All of the power, none of the morals. Somewhere in between the likes of Prince Joffrey and Jesus is God’s personality, the guy is just plain bored. This much I know for certain, God is a man.

We hope that he is kind and will reward faith with miracles. We paint him as a saint, and then go a step further, to give him a rival, an anti-god, the Satan to his holiness, a villain to the hero. This isn’t good versus evil, this isn’t like that at all. It’s just God- a single guy, living in his mom’s basement with the joystick that controls the world. Let me tell you, this guy is never a kind soul. This guy likes explosions, guns, bombs and genocide. The gorier the better. This guy is lonely and a little resentful. In his defense though, I am pretty sure he thinks it’s all just a game.

With this post I thee commence

4

As the lyrical genius  Eminem ( after whom I assumed the candies were named or possibly things are the other way around) once said “I’m not afraid, to take a stand, everybody, come take my hand” . Except, I’m deathly scared, afraid, petrified even and let’s face it I have symptoms of mild germophobia so everybody taking my hand is outta the question, also I just graduated…yay, then again maybe not.

Out of college, 4 years spent studying engineering because let’s face it without a degree in engineering your life is unlikely to ever be worthwhile…EVER, I’m at the mythical crossroads. You know the one, with the signboard with two arrows pointing in opposite directions, both of them have no labels and you’re literally in the middle of nowhere, and mostly you don’t want to screw up and yo’re wondering whether risks are really worth taking. I studied in what has been described as the dream college and the ideal spot for learning…by no one. It’s funny how a reputation outlives what it was built on for so long. I’m waiting to hear back from NYU about admissions and I’ve been trying to just get my final transcripts from the stupid effin Anna University to send to NYU, apparently it takes 2 weeks to print out a sheet of ugly paper and if you can’t wait that long well they don’t really give a shit. Sadists I will never understand. I kinda hope BDSM catches on in this city, the government officials in the stupidest yet somehow weirdly powerful jobs (like the guy who hands out the marksheets) could use a different outlet for these dominatrix, sadistic and taboo tendencies. I think it would definitely be for the best.

Another awesome thing about college here: you learn NOTHING to prepare you for life and they don’t even hold the bloody official graduation ceremony until a year after you actually climb out of the hellhole. So there’s one more thing I can’t cross off my bucket-list-a crazy inspirational commencement address.

I read a post about the most inspirational commencement speeches ever on FastCo and while those were amazing, here’s my pick:

The brilliant & the obvious 

It’s been played over and over and quoted again and again and it’s become the obvious pick, but not without reason. Everytime I think twice about what I want to do with my life, I can’t see the point in doing things that don’t make me happy- writing, reading, singing (Seemingly like Adele when I actually sound like this guy). So anyway, this speech kinda reminds me that risks are worth taking, you never know what tomorrow brings, you only live once and all that jazz.

There are many versions on Youtube I chose this one because I love the name of the channel 😛 (peestandingup)

Because things can get Harry sometimes 

JKR is da man. I mean talk about a phenom. And as someone who aspires to reach her level or fame, success both in terms of literature and mimicking her accent, I have to say her speech reminds me that I am wrong about the two thoughts that always plague me and get me down- ‘there’s no turning back if you make a bad decision’ and ‘just because a majority thingks something is right and you don’t agree, you’re probably the wrong one’. FYI those are stupid thoughts that stem from the deepest darkest annals of my tumultuous relationship with my parents. Which brings me to the most important reason why I love this speech. She reminds me that there’s a point beyond which you need to stop blaming your parents, hitch your pants a little higher on your waist, roll-up your sleeves and just charge. I have always been a whiner when it comes to this, I blame my parents for a lot (actually pretty much everything) of things and I still do, but I like to think that the speech has had an impact. I do try to whine less and just move past it all. Grow up and all that.

I want to be the President of the United States’ speechwriter

This one is inspirational only because it reminds me that I can be funny and I wouldn’t be ruling out the possibility of working for the President someday. I also learnt that bullshit is a bad word, who knew. Jon Levett you awesome S.o.B!

These are the speeches I gifted myself, for putting myself through 4 years of a life I didn’t want, for making it to the finish without causing my hairline to recede, for managing to have fun with it anyway, for making some friends who made a difference and mostly for not giving up on the dream I’ve had since much before those 4 years. Someday (hopefully before I’m 30) I will be giving one of these speeches and all I can promise is that it won’t be boring, it won’t be profound, but it will be true.

Bonus: My new mantra/screensaver. 

Will Smith always knows what he’s talking about, but then again I haven’t seen After Earth yet.

Father’s Day Weekend. So Happy Father’s Day to all the Good dads out there, the ones who said ‘whatever’ when your girlfriend passed the pregnancy test, this does NOT go out to you! Happy Father’s day to my dad as well, because you aren’t as bad as I tell other people you are and I do love you for everything you’ve done for me, (not so much for the things, like engineering, that your forced me to do…see what I mean about the whining).

The funny commencement speech also given on Father’s day weekend, not too inspiring, but sure as hell entertaining.

Life Without Opposable Thumbs

0

Image

I think I owe you an explanation and it’s very likely that if we’ve met, I also owe you some money. Here’s the explanation-

Firstly do not be alarmed, I do have opposable thumbs and am not the victim of some newfound disformity. It’s just, I happened to be re-watching Season 2 of Scrubs, the Halloween episode and Dr.Cox aka Perry also widely known as my favorite character in the Hates-everybody category  happened to say “you have opposable thumbs, use them” to a large man in a gorilla costume. Out of context whether or not you are familiar with the scene, I thought of what if he didn’t have opposable thumbs? Then what? This particular train of thought ended rather quickly and I was left thinking “Life without Opposable Thumbs” would be such a great title for a blog-post.

Here’s the thing about me, I am a writer of the highest calibre. Were this a different more sophisticated electricity-less era, I could have proven this to you by showing you just how worn out my quill is. However since we are living in a much more dramatic and much less interesting technological age this blog will have to suffice. As you can see I try not to make everything about myself and the fact that I own a t-shirt which claims that “I am the center of the universe” should do nothing to convince you otherwise.

Let’s get down to business now shall we?

I have realized with great conviction that there is only one thing I aspire to be- a TV writer, a sitcom writer to be more specific.

My life goals can be eloquently summarized in the following manner:

1.Write and star in own sitcom a la Tina Fey/ Amy Poehler/ Mindy Kaling

2. Write 7 part (not a big fan of trilogies) best-selling novel series a la J.K.Rowling

3. Get pilot’s license.

4.Acquire 4 different puppies of distinct but fluffy varieties and have unscheduled but extremely regular puppy parties.

5. Meet Robert Downey Jr.

6. Go to and have a panel at Comic Con

7.Update this blog weekly.

Okay well let’s face it no one in their right mind would ever give me a pilot’s license, but of course the rest is very doable and will be done asap.

I have chosen MIndy kaling as my preferred role model because even though she may not have realized it yet despite that one tweet I sent her last year, she and I are going to be best friends-we have so much in common.

Mindy’s mom was a gynecologist, so is mine. Mindy was in Nigeria during her early childhood before her parents were awesome and decided to move to the states, I was in Nigeria for most of my formative years too. Mindy’s dad is Tamilian, so is mine. Mindy has her own TV show and is awesome, I am pretty damn awesome and will have my own TV show soon. Mindy is extremely funny, if my school actually did the whole yearbook thing, I would’ve had that Class Clown title in the bag.

This blog is fresh start for me. Hopefully to interact with more aspiring writers TV and otherwise. Put up some of my work. You can read some of the stuff I’ve written in fantasy/fiction at http://bit.ly/YSbr97 and I’ll be starting a spec/script sharing section soon. Here’s what you can expect in general- talk about the shows I am watching currently, TV writers that inspire me, episodes I like, actors I would love to do, and other writerly stuff like that.

For today I’ll give you the short version because intimidation is just not my style:

House of Lies : Loving it, I wouldn’t mind less scenes of Cheadle fucking people, but that’s just my orthodox Indian upbringing talking. Ben Schwartz aka Jean Ralphio from Parks and Rec, who knew he could be more awesome? I’m two episodes in and I don’t think I am ever coming back out. (That’s what she said ).

I also spent some time re-watching early episodes of the comedy classic Full House to revisit the good old days and remind myself that the Olsen twins existed.

Caught the new ‘The Mindy Project'(I really thought she could’ve come up with a better name for the show)- you get some never before seen footage and parts of Chris Messina(Danny Castellano) and Mark Duplass(Brendan Delaurier) unleashes the beast inside. Honestly the best part for me was Ike Barinholtz(Morgan Tuckers) the character is just amazing.

Caught the new episode of New Girl. It was underwhelming despite how much I love Brenda Song (Daisy) guest starring. Without Max Greenfield(Schmidt) the episode would’ve been supremely pointless. I didn’t even LOL once, but I’m hoping it was just an off night and won’t be like Community where from Season 2 everything just went downhill.

Tomorrow is Thursday and that means Parks & Rec, Vampire Diaries oh hell I’m just gonna show you a snapshot of my calendar Image

Catcha on the flipside…of the remote 🙂