So I saw the movie some time ago and as usual I am not gonna review it or anything, because like I said, that’s what rotten tomatoes, imdb and coupla zillion other sites and bloggers are for. I do what I do what I do that I do- mock, ridicule, question and make accusations. In this movie however there was so much to mock and so much to ridicule and just SO much inconsistency plot-wise that I was left with just one thought.
Can’t you just picture The Rock as Hobbes the Tiger, ignore the treacherous bitch next to him in the picture.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie- high-speed car chases, explosions, Vin Diesel driving some petrol cars, that evil dude who looks like Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s evil British twin Hoit Gordon-Levitt.
Luke Evans aka Less-cute, more Evil
Add to that, the fact that I kept picturing The Rock as a fluffy tiger and well I was pretty much winded from rolling on the floor of the theater laughing. I also got a good workout kicking the guy in front of me who kept shoving his seat into my knee.
Fuck Yeah JGL
Also in case they take down that awesome video here’s the gist
Note to Self: Must watch Magic Mike
Speaking of which, double bonus, you lucky dog you! So maybe your boss is a stingy li’l Theon Greyjoy type person and the bonus he promised you this year came in the form of a ‘Thank you for being a wonderful Employee’ Hallmark card, you should just Channing all over his um, just watch this, it’ll cheer you up. Boys, Olivia Munn is in there too.
My approach to TV show viewing in like a literature class, open to interpretation, discussion, debate and paper-airplane throwing and most importantly there is no right answer.
So I watched 3 seasons worth of Game of Thrones in roughly 5 days and then I watched yesterday’s episode and I died. Every single frikkin person I was rooting for on that show aka the Starks was butchered and well let’s just say if it weren’t for Khaleesi I would have no hope for anything ever. Even considering how much of a junkie I am when it comes to shows, I think I’m invested in GoT waay to much for my own good. My own tweet sums it up nicely.
I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the next season- everyone on Game of Thrones
I really should’ve known better after Eddard was killed and worse yet, they had to go and kill the wolf :'((. I wonder how likely it is that George R.R Martin would’ve written a GoT version of PETA into his books to protest on behalf of those wolves. PETA and GoT do have a lot in common- they love nudity, boobies and fighting for causes. Khaleesi would look hella awesome as a PETA ambassador.
Khaleesi’s PETA campaign
I also found out that the actress I’d been raving about from the Elementary finale is Natalie Dormer aaaaand she plays Margaery Tyrell on Game of Thrones-brilliant she is. She also has a rather amusing and permanent duckface.
Just adding some hotness to your daily routine.
See what I mean, but I love her anyhoo.
I have also come up with a law that I shall hereby christen Riley’s Law of tele-viewing.
Riley’s law of tele-viewing states that “The more one despises an actor on screen, the more one is likely to love the actor off it”, in other words the amount of hatred you have for onscreen characters played by talented Game of Thrones type actors, is directly proportional to the amount of love you will have for them off screen.
Lena Headey who plays the “the queen we all love to hate”-Sersei Lannister, is just so much fun on the Comic Con GoT panel and on this:
If you have doubts about RIley’s law, well then you are a fool and I happen to enjoy Fool’s Gold( money I get by tricking fools I come across, NOT the awful Matthew Mcconaughey movie- I HATE THAT GUY). Another example of RIley’s law- Michael Rosenbaum who played Lex Luthor on Smallville. You have no choice to fucking hate his sorry bald guts on the show, but the bloopers are a whole another very real, very funny story. John Glover is awesome too.
See what I mean. Oh and it’s called Riley’s law because I am considering changing my nom de plume to Riley Pendergast. Good idea? Bad Idea? or do you have a better idea?
Also I hate Theon Greyjoy, I think he is a whiny little bitch non-man who deserved to get his junk hacked off.